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If your child clutches your leg at the sight of a red suit, you are in good company. Plenty of children are wary of a big, bearded stranger, and that is a normal part of growing up. A screen can make Santa feel smaller and safer, and a good plan helps even more. This guide is a gentle playbook for parents of kids who are scared of Santa.
Start by understanding the fear
Fear of Santa usually comes from a few simple things.
He is a stranger
Young children are naturally cautious around unfamiliar adults.
He is big and loud
A deep voice and a large beard can be a lot.
The setting is overwhelming
Crowds, lines and mall noise add stress.
The expectation is high
Children can sense when a parent really wants them to smile.
A video call removes the crowd, the lines and the lap, which solves several of these. Your child is in their own home, in their own clothes, with you beside them. It is a lower-pressure way to meet Santa. Learn more about the format on our live video call page.
Rule one: no forcing
Before anything else, decide that your child's comfort comes first. If they do not want to talk, that is fine. If they hide behind a pillow, that is fine. Pushing a scared child usually makes the fear stronger. Your calm, relaxed attitude teaches them that this is safe.
Warm-up steps in the weeks before
Build familiarity slowly. Start a few weeks ahead if you can.
- 1
Look at pictures
Show a picture book of Santa and talk about the things he does. Keep it relaxed.
- 2
Watch from a distance
Look at a Santa on a parade or in a cartoon, and say, "He looks friendly. What do you think?"
- 3
Play pretend
Let your child be Santa and you be the child, or use stuffed animals. Children often lose fear when they get to be the one in charge.
- 4
Say his name casually
"Santa likes cookies" becomes normal, rather than a big deal.
- 5
Talk about what will happen
"We will sit together. Santa will say hello. You can wave. If you want to stop, we can stop."
For more on warm-ups, see prepare your child for a Santa call.
Setting up the room
Make the space feel like a safe base.
- Sit on the couch or floor with your child on your lap.
- Let them hold a favorite blanket or stuffed animal.
- Keep the screen at a modest size, such as a laptop rather than a big TV, so Santa does not loom.
- Dim extra lights and turn off distractions.
- Keep the volume at a gentle level.
Our post on a Santa call corner at home has more ideas.
Choose the right time
A scared child needs to be at their best. Pick a slot when your child is fed, rested and calm. Calls run November 28 to December 24, 2026, with limited times: evenings on Tuesdays and Thursdays and weekend mornings, Pacific time. A weekend morning is often easiest. Read the best time of day for a Santa call for more help.
What to put on the booking form
The form takes your child's name, age, wish list and fun facts. For a nervous child, use the fun facts to set Santa up for success.
- Say that your child is shy or nervous so Santa can go slowly.
- List comforting topics: a pet, a favorite stuffed animal, a hobby.
- Mention what they like to talk about, so Santa can start with an easy question.
Santa is a real-beard Santa in a velvet suit, and the call is a warm conversation. A real person can respond to a child who is quiet, and he can follow your child's lead. For the difference between this and a pre-made video, see Santa video call vs pre-recorded Santa video.
During the call
Your role is to be a calm, steady presence.
- 1
Stay close
Sit beside your child, or hold them.
- 2
Let Santa lead
He will say hello and ask an easy question.
- 3
Offer small options
"Do you want to wave, or just watch?"
- 4
Narrate lightly
"Santa knows about Pickles!" can open a door.
- 5
Praise any effort
A tiny nod or whisper is a win.
- 6
Have an exit plan
Agree on a signal, like a squeeze of the hand, that means "I am done." If your child wants to stop, it is okay to say goodbye and end early.
If your child freezes, you can answer on their behalf: "Nora is feeling shy today, but she wants you to know she loves her cat." Santa can take it from there. The post on what Santa says to shy kids shows what to expect.
Words that help
Try these phrases.
- "You do not have to talk. You can just listen."
- "I am right here with you."
- "It is okay to feel nervous. Lots of kids do."
- "We can wave and then say bye."
Avoid these.
- "Do not be silly, there is nothing to be afraid of."
- "Santa will be sad if you do not talk to him."
- "If you are not good, Santa will not come."
The first group respects the feeling. The second group adds shame.
If the call does not go as planned
It might not. Your child might cry, run off or refuse to look. That is not a failure. Here is how to wrap up.
- Stay calm and smile at the screen.
- Say, "Thank you, Santa. We will try again another time."
- Give your child a hug and a snack.
- Do not bring it up as a problem later. Instead say, "You were brave to say hello."
If you need to change a booking, call 855-916-9921.
Alternatives for very nervous kids
Some children are not ready for a live conversation, and that is okay. Consider these steps.
Start with a message
A personalized Santa video message is about 30 seconds and $19. Your child can watch from your lap, pause it or look away. You can compare options on the pricing page.
Wait a year
Many children who are scared at three are delighted at four.
Bring in a sibling
If an older sibling chats with Santa, a younger child may watch and warm up. Put the siblings' names, ages and a wish or two in the fun facts box.
For children whose fear is part of bigger feelings in general, see Santa call for kids with big feelings.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal for a child to be scared of Santa?
Yes. Many children are wary of a big, bearded stranger, especially toddlers and preschoolers. Gentle preparation usually helps.
Can I stop the call early?
Yes. If your child is upset, you can say goodbye and end the call. To change a booking, call 855-916-9921.
Should I tell Santa my child is nervous?
Yes. Add it to the fun facts box on the booking form so Santa can go slowly and start with easy topics.
What if my child will not look at the screen?
That is fine. Many children listen without looking. Stay relaxed and let Santa chat with you both.